Ol’ Blue Eyes Is Back

September 20, 2007 03:23 PM

Location: San Jose International Airport

That’s right, I’m back. Again. I leave you people for 9 years and what the hell do you do with the world I gave you? You fuck it up, that’s what.

I gave you style and class. I taught you how to live and love and more importantly, how to swing and what did you do? You traded in fine food for fast food, cocktail hour for a 6 pack of Bud in front of the TV, and you traded an Oris watch for a neon-colored, rubber friendship bracelet.

What the hell is wrong with you people? If I really were dead, I’d be spinning in my grave so fast I could generate enough electricity to power Vegas for a month. Lucky for you, I’ve decided to land “El Dago”, and come out of retirement for the 2nd or 3rd time (Jesus, retirement’s getting to be like marriage). Someone’s gotta’ smack some sense into you people. The hippies over at Apple pitched in and loaned me one of their computers (*Note to Jobs... It’s mine now.). Apparently it’s the only way to communicate with you people.

So here’s the routine. I write, you read. I talk, you listen. I right the world and you all get sophisticated again. Capiche? Good. Now put the beer down, get off your fat ass and start livin'. Ol’ Blue Eyes is back.

breadcrumb → Notes